This blog has taken me a couple months to write. I've mulled over this blog so many times before publishing it just to ensure it was information that could be beneficial to my readers as well as spreading awareness without too much personal information. Yea, maybe it is too much information but it will serve its purpose to inspire and motivate. If you comment, please be respectful.
My life adventure began at Vandenberg AFB near Santa Barbara on June 14, 1980. I was raised all over the world since my dad was in the Air Force. We were stationed in different countries and all over the U.S.
I have never really been into anything athletic at any time in my life. However, I did try. My mom had me in gymnastics and ballet as a toddler and during “Parents’ day” for ballet, I thought all the parents were laughing at me so I quit ballet for good. I didn’t try any other sports until middle school when my family moved to Saudi Arabia and I joined the swim team. I, also, enrolled and paid for my own gymnastics lessons from money I saved from weekly allowance. I, actually, excelled in gymnastics during that time. I tried to play soccer and volleyball but was too afraid of the ball. I enjoyed those sports but the ball loved hitting me in the head more.
When we moved to Ohio, I tried out for the cheerleading squad in 7th grade. I couldn't get the routines down. I was so uncoordinated. I love to dance and I love gymnastics but put me in a group cheerleading routine and I lose all control of my body in spastic ways.Instead, I helped teach cheerleading pre-k through 3rd grade instead. Those who can't, teach. Right? Ok, maybe not but I was better at teaching the routines to little kids.
When we moved to Turkey, I tried to play basketball and run in cross-country but those were all short-lived. I was still afraid of the ball and I am definitely not a runner. I wanted to be an athlete so bad, mainly to fit in with the other kids, but for some reason it just wasn't me. I was better at art and music. I played the flute and was really great at drawing and painting. I taught myself how to play the piano and guitar.
I visited a recruiter my senior year in high school and enlisted in the Air Force (via Delayed Enlistment Program). Six months after high school, I was off to Air Force Basic Military Training. I tried to get in some running before I left but was pretty unsuccessful because I never could run far. We ran practically every day in boot camp and did pushups/sit-ups. I was so out of shape. I thought I was going to die most days. I let the sweat conceal my tears. Before I graduated boot camp, I was keeping up with the base commander who was a marathon runner. I did over 60 pushups in 2 minutes and I exceeded the standards for sit-ups, as well. I actually, injured my back somehow and wasn’t able to run when I got to tech school.
In the 6 ½ years I was active duty, I did okay when it came to passing fitness tests. The initial test included an ergonometric stationary bike test which was basically a breathing test. All you had to do was stop breathing about 10-15 seconds before the 2-minute interval where the heart rate was measured. I think someone caught on eventually and realized this wasn’t an accurate measurement of physical fitness. After all, cyclists and marathon runners were failing the test! They revamped the fitness program and got rid of the bike and began measuring physical fitness by timed running, pushups and sit-ups.
In 2004, when I was assigned to the headquarters for my job here in San Antonio, I got the worst headache of my life. I could barely move. I was in tears and I’m pretty sure I scared the crap out of my co-workers. We were all really close. They took me to the clinic on base and I was told it was a migraine. I would get migraines out of the blue after that and, also, when I ran. I was referred to a neurologist. I had every test done to make sure there wasn’t something going on in my brain like an aneurysm or stroke. I was cleared and diagnosed with migraines. I was trialed through every medication possible. I tried beta-blockers, anti-seizure, anti-depressants, etc. Some made me sick. Some gave me weird side effects like sleep hallucinations and sleep-eating. Yes, I said “sleep-eating”. It’s a real medical problem. I’ll try and post more about it another time. I gained about 25-30 lbs and through those scary hallucinations, the memory of being sexually assaulted resurfaced. I had blocked it out for 4 years and it was taking its toll on me. I began getting migraines even more. I was getting them 5-6 times a month and they were extremely bad. I was later re-diagnosed with chronic migraines. I was sent to pain specialists and they were frustrated with me so they discharged me from their clinic.
I was medically retired in March 2005 after a year and half on a temp retirement disability list (TDRL). My post-retirement treatment consisted of a daily medication of Effexor XR and multiple Botox injections into my head and neck every few months. At my VA (Veterans Affairs) Compensation & Disability interview, I was diagnosed with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). I also have all-over body pain which my neurologist believes is fibromyalgia. He said I could have always had it or could have developed it while on the migraine medications. There is no test for fibromyalgia.
By mid 2011, coping with my PTSD on my own was not working well for me so I was referred to a VA psychiatrist. I had already seen civilian psychologists before that but “talk therapy” didn’t work for me either. My psychiatrist wanted me to keep my medications simple so she increased the dosage of Effexor XR I was already on for my migraines. I was at the maximum dosage after a month. I started having horrible side effects and was really sick. I felt like a zombie because of the sedative side effect. It was miraculous if I could make it into work at all sometimes. I also had absolutely no appetite so I didn’t eat. I lost 30 lbs in 2 weeks. I told my psychiatrist but she didn’t want to take me off the medicine or decrease the dose. She said I would “get used to it”. I thought she was crazy! This drug wasn’t helping me. It was killing me. She went on maternity leave after that so I didn’t see her again. My next appointment was with another doctor via webcam at the VA clinic where I had my other appointments.
In September 2011, I decided I needed to get off the medicine. I quit cold turkey, which is not recommended. I researched the withdrawal symptoms before I stopped taking it. The drug is associated or similar with the withdrawals of heroin. People would count the tiny beads in the capsules and try to wean themselves off, usually without success. Bead-counting is not accurate since the beads aren’t always the same size. Since I lived at home at that time, my mom nursed me back to myself and helped me get through the horrible withdrawal. I didn’t get out of bed for almost 2 months. I experienced nausea/vomiting, migraines, and unbearable electrical shock-sensations in my head. I detoxed by taking a bunch of Omega 3/fish oil capsules, a certain kind of tea my mom had me drink, and lots of sleep. I gained the weight I had lost pretty quick after my detox. Without all the weight fluctuation and medical problems, I was at 120-125 lbs. I was now at 160+. It was very hard for me to deal with because I have never been overweight up until I started having migraines. I started to wonder if the weight gain was the source of my other medical problems and body pain.
In May 2012, I decided to start on a journey to lose weight and get "toned up". What does that even mean? I don’t think anyone who says that really knows. I began to educate myself about a healthier life of eating right and working out. I’m still learning and it’s very fascinating to me. I’m looking into going back to school for a degree in health. I set new goals for myself. I wanted, desperately, to become healthy again. I wanted to stop having chronic pain and migraines too.
I joined a great 24-hour gym and I began Jamie Eason’s LiveFit on Bodybuilding.com. It’s a 3-phase, 12-week program complete with meal plan. I worked out right after I got out of work at midnight. I did really well the first 8 weeks but started to burn out in week 9. I completely stopped in week 10. The last phase implemented plyometrics and I wasn’t ready for all the bouncing around just yet. I was seeing great results though. My migraines were less in quantity and severity. I felt stronger and some of my all-over body pain was relieved. I never had muscle definition before and I finally had some. I took a 3-month break from working out regularly. I maintained a somewhat healthy meal plan but I have to admit I really did not eat well/clean all the time. I was hitting all the fast food chains almost every day again for dinner on days I worked. Guess what else was back! My migraines. Some worse than ever!
Right before Thanksgiving 2012, I decided I needed to start getting healthy again. I needed to work out to get to where I wanted to be physically. I didn’t start up full force because I knew I would burn myself out again and it was, also, the holidays. I really didn’t want working out and eating right to be a New Year’s Resolution. Those types of resolutions have a high rate of failure anyway.
“All you need is a new day to begin something new. Don’t wait until the first of the year, or the first of the month. Don’t wait until Monday. Start tomorrow.” – D’Anna
Fast forward to today, I am working out at least every other day. I’m doing bodyweight exercises and cardio. I’ve lost a total of 7 lbs and ½ inch in my waist since December 23, 2012. Haven’t had any other measurements done but I can see a difference in my legs and arms too. Much of it I believe is through clean eating. I don’t eat fast food. If I do, I eat the healthiest thing on the menu. I allow myself reasonable cheat meals on Sundays when I visit my parents.
I know I am well on my way to reaching my goals of wearing shorts or a bikini comfortably. I’m not working with a time frame right now. I am going at my own pace. I have a future goal of competing in a bodybuilding competition (bikini class). I love blogging about my journey and I hope I inspire and motivate you to start and/or continue your own personal fit journey. :)
